Society in the United States treats dying animals better…
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I left her hospital room today. I am making all her decisions now. I made an important one a few hours ago. I came into the room and saw the blood in her bladder bag and the jaundice in her skin. Her time is coming. The decision I made was to not force feed her through a feeding tube. I did this because I felt that this route would be the less painful of the two options. I just did not want her to suffer any more than she had for the past year going through chemotherapy and radiation.
It is a sad thing to see someone in pain, dying, but the thought that I vocalized in front of the doctor, the hospice nurse, the social service lady, and my wife is that society treats dying dogs better. Animals don’t have to hold on to the bitter, painful, and agonizing end. We euthanize them so that they do not have to suffer but for humans that is not socially acceptable for them in the United States . That act would be considered murder. It should be considered mercy but it is considered unlawful to keep people from going through the kind of pain that my mother suffers now. So instead of ending her pain, the doctors shoot her full of drugs that make her nauseous and higher than the space station just to ease their minds so they can sleep at night. The truth is unsaid but I’m saying it now…No one would want to die like this.
The cancer is in her spine, in her skull, in her hip, in her pelvis, in her liver, in her stomach, and lord knows where else. She groans a deep groan of pain every time she opens her eyes. Her esophagus is blistered and soar. Her lungs are now filling with fluid. She is in agony and misery…and we cannot end it for her. We all have a chance of suffering like this when we die, in case that thought has not occurred to you. I just wish that it would end for her in a peaceful dream but she suffers more every day and our, holier than thou (that know more than every one else,) physicians think that this is the way to let us and themselves die.
I did not know what to think of Dr Kevorkian when he went around performing mercy killings 20 years ago but I do now. He was a kind person that deserved better recognition than a prison sentence…That is for sure. And if you think otherwise just wait…your day is coming too. You had better hope that death comes quickly on its own or softly and quietly in the night because your pain will be felt to the very harsh end if you get into a situation such as this. I would not wish this on any one! It is a sad thing to think that if my mother was a dog she would be resting in peace now rather than suffering in that cold hospital bed. That is all that I have to say.
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2zpoint Blog 
Hello. I read the comment you posted on Musing by Moonlight (Jamie Dedes’ blog) in response to her kind link to my piece about breast cancer. That brought me here, and I am heartbroken at what I read. I am so very sorry that your mother has to suffer so terribly from this dread disease. You are right. There is something wrong with a system that would allow someone to go through so much agony.
You mentioned that your grandmother had also been stricken, and that you were concerned for your daughter. You are right to be concerned. If the cancer that started this is not breast cancer, then none of this applies, as far as I know. But given your mention of only the women in your family, I’m assuming it was breast cancer. If you are not aware of the BRCA (breast cancer) gene mutation, you should find out about it. Women who have the mutation have a much higher risk of developing both breast and ovarian cancer, and it is hereditary.
If you read my post featured on Jamie’s blog, you know that my daughter, who had breast cancer at age 33, tested positive for the gene mutation. We were told it was passed down from a parent. I had to get tested, and I decided that if I tested positive, I would have both of my now healthy breasts and my ovaries removed. Doing so would reduce my risk from 65-85% to 1-2 %. (The average woman has an 8% chance of getting breast cancer.) I fortunately tested negative, meaning that my daughter inherited it from her father. My sons may have inherited too. Though it increases a man’s risk of cancer slightly, his female children might inherit it and have the much greater risk. Given the history in your family, please look into this.
My heart goes out to you mother, and to you and your family. I am so so sorry.
Patti
a positive message.
Some might miss interpret the love in this message as hate or anger. The sadness is really just for anyone to have to go through that kind of pain. We all will die one day and I can except that but suffering on your worst day when something could be done about it is tragic. Thank you for seeing this message for what it is.
prayers for you and your family.
how is everything?
hope you well….
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/thursday-poets-rally-week-30/
let me know if you want to write a poem for my Rally….
Thanks in advance.
She still alive but she is green from the lack of liver function. She was yellow and now green. She sees people that were not there ,moans regularly, and keeps saying that she wants to go home. She is hallucinating and does not realize where she is half of the time.
I do not know what I did to make her mad yesterday but she said she was fixing to slap me…nothing like a little anger to get the blood flowing I guess because after that she did eat some of her food. She is a fighter but with a liver that does not work she is deteriorating slowly and painfully. Thank you for asking Jingle.
some say that behind the idea of helping such people in pain not suffer anymore we are actually hiding our own pain of seeing them like that and our impotence of enduring their suffering. in my family i’ve had two recent deaths, none of them because of cancer, but both persons were immobilized in their beds. one was my grandmother, who died after 10 months of such torture, not being able to talk, rise on her feet, or even eat by herself, and my mother was with her the whole time, until the moment when she passed away – and those 10 months of pain have suddenly whitened her hair and aged my mom by at least 10 years. the worst thing in all that was that my grandmother was lucid, up to the very end, and aware of what was happening to her. the other case was that of my husband’s grandmother, who died a bit before mine, and who had been immobilized in a similar situation for the past 7 or 8 years, but fortunately enough she wasn’t aware anymore of what was going on around her. in her case it was my husband’s grandfather who stayed with her the whole time, and his children, among whom my in-laws, who were going there in weekends to help him. but in both cases, everybody prayed first of all for their suffering to end and for them both to be spared of such a living. for having to lay like that in a bed, not able to move, eat, or even talk, just seeing the others around you suffering together with you – THAT is not a life…i hope to God that i won’t get to be such a burden for anyone…it’s true that every living being has a right to live, but not like that. and honestly, since we come into this world without being asked if we want to, we could at least have the right to leave when we want to.
“some say that behind the idea of helping such people in pain not suffer anymore we are actually hiding our own pain of seeing them like that and our impotence of enduring their suffering. ”
Those that say those things… and I know that what you say is true, are immeasurable fools. My mother was in pain and the morphine made her nauseous to the point of vomiting.
But immobility is a more subtle kind of torture, We get to set there in one spot and rot. We can’t move… so we get bed sores that irritate us. If we’re lucid we get to think about what is happening to us.
And if we don’t know what is happening to us… we get to lead a humiliating end that is not the kind person we were when we lived as people.
I could go on with my reasons but the reason I said we in all of these statements is that the harsh reality is that we will be the ones in this position in time. It may be just my personal choice but I would not want to suffer in any of these ways when I go. Furthermore, if it is just “hiding our own pain of seeing them like that and our impotence of enduring their suffering. ” I would want to save my children from such pain when they get to see me go.
Thank you for reading this… many people do not think that this is an important topic. The silence says it all.
This is one of my most heart felt pieces… I appreciate your comment more than words can say.
there is nothing for you to thank me for – i just think that instead of hiding our pain we are actually hiding our weakness in front of taking a decision behind the idea of humanity. we are just cowards because that would mean to take responsibility of that person’s course of life. but since we accept the responsibility of the life of children we bring into this world, we should also accept our responsibility regarding our dear ones’ pains and death. we are running away from this part of responsibility hiding behind that oath of Hippocrates, and fail to see that the most important thing here is the huge amount of love that it takes to have the courage and help a suffering being end his/her pain…