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Practical Joke #2289 :The Salesman Shakeup

April 9, 2011

Image by petesimon via Flickr

Those that know me well know me as a kind hearted person with a sense of fairness toward most, a temperament that can be as mean as a honey badger when things are not fair or just , and as an infamously mean practical jokester when the time calls for it or I just feel like entertaining myself at a suckers expense.

I am an intimidating person to look at for many, weighing 280lbs and standing 6’2″ with a muscular build that a body building bouncer might be imagined to feature. So it comes as no surprise that most people are not willing to readily piss me off but stupidity and greed often get the best of some people, salesmen are the most prone to fall into both of these categories.

I made a deal with a furniture salesman to put a living room set into layaway because we had to figure out what to do with the other furniture. My wife asked the salesman “Now if we put these pieces into layaway will we be able to get them out as soon as we are ready for them or will we have to wait on them to come in ” He replied “Oh no we have plenty of this stock on hand so that will absolutely not be a problem!”  So we paid for most of it that day and went home to make arrangements for the old furniture to go to some people who could use them. Emptying our living room, we went back to the show room with the rest of the cash in hand to buy our furniture a week later and the salesman looked very surprised to see us. He turned flush white immediately, then went to the back to act like he was searching for our purchase and promptly came back to the front making all kinds of excuses as to why he didn’t have our furniture. He said we could either have the floor piece…”You mean the one that every body and their dog has had their ass on!” I replied in a voice loud enough that the whole store could hear what was being said. Then I said “Would you want to take that home when you paid for something brand new?” . He started sweating…He offered to deliver it a week later because it was in his warehouse in Muskogee (45 miles away). “My living room is empty and you expect me to wait a week for something you said you would have in stock NO PROBLEM” . I was getting mad and he was getting anxious but I looked over at my wife and seen tears welling up in her eyes because she wanted that set so bad …I couldn’t tell her no because she doesn’t hardly ask for anything. So I looked back at that lying salesman and said “Is that warehouse going to be open tomorrow?” He said “Yes but that is a long…” I stopped him in mid sentence and said “GOOD…then you get on that phone and you call whoever you have to and let them know that I’m coming for my furniture tomorrow at whatever time they open” He immediately did so . I don’t blame him…I could have choked him easily and might have if I didn’t want to give my wife that particular furniture.

He made the arrangements so I picked the pieces up the next day. I told the people at that warehouse what he did and told them that they should call him in a little bit and tell him that they could not fill my order and I was coming to him PISSED OFF. Meanwhile, as I was leaving their warehouse I called him up and said ” Buddy…You and I have a problem and you better have either my money or my furniture when I get there or I promise you that you won’t be happy GOOD BYE!” I do not know how long it took him to figure out that I was pulling his leg but I left it to the warehouse people to let him off the hook. I hope that in the future he considers his lies might have undesirable consequences…But really, who am I kidding? Salesmen never think past the grasp of their victim…I mean customer’s money.  May anyone who has to deal with these kind of people have very little trust in their integrity. Let them earn one’s trust through quality in their actions.Peace be with you.

22 Comments leave one →
  1. April 10, 2011 3:09 am

    *sigh* I think we’ve all had experiences similar to this poor customer. In general, salesmen have one of the worst reputations. I wouldn’t want to be one for the world! Nice post, Stuart.

    • April 10, 2011 12:44 pm

      If I was I wouldn’t lie to my customers even if I might loose a few I’d gain many fold more in repeat business because of my honesty. I learned that from a friend of mine that passed away a few years ago named Jim Brogdon …he would rather go in the hole than to lie to his buyers and he did a time or two but he always had customers that would only deal with him till the day he died…even into his retirement he sold to those friends…take care!

  2. April 10, 2011 12:11 pm

    That was really rude, and he deserved to be roughed up.
    Bravo to you for letting him think just that! He probably
    didn’t feel guilty, but I’m sure he feared for his life, if only
    for a day…or, maybe two, knowing the likes of you. You
    be the one return customer he’d rather not see return.

    Peace is born of good will. That’s why there’s so little of it.
    Always watching out for #1 comes at a price. That is the
    drama inherit in karma, and he’s setting the stage for his
    own private Hell. All you did was lend him a hand without
    lifting a finger. Hope you wore your rubber gloves. 🙂 UT

    • April 10, 2011 12:40 pm

      LOL! yeah…If I did nothing else I made him think about it but in all fairness Id say he had it coming for lying like he did …Peace bro!

  3. April 12, 2011 1:20 pm

    Ha ha, i wish i’d seen that.
    I used to work for a giant of a head chef, it was difficult because i was a little bit nervous of him but then he didn’t have a very kind nature either. lol

    • April 13, 2011 3:40 am

      LOL! You would have loved it! It really boils down to physics …there is kinetic energy (moving energy) and potential energy. A man with a lot of potential energy might hurt someone who isn’t using there kinetic energy properly. Good to stay away from someone with so much potential! …At least healthier.
      Great to see you Richard!

  4. April 15, 2011 12:23 am

    Great story, Stuart! I want you with me next time I go furniture shopping. I have a similar story where I was so messed up by the company where I had purchased some furniture that they gave me a $100.00 gift certificate to their department store and waived the shipping fees on my order. At least they bent over backwards trying to appease me.

    I love your practical joke stories. xoxo

    • April 15, 2011 1:03 am

      I’d do it! I hate lying salesmen…and liars in general but particularly salesmen. I ‘ve heard it said that messin’ with someones money is like messin’ with their emotions. I second that emotion!

      • April 16, 2011 5:06 am

        I think you’re right–that really pisses people off! 😉

        • April 17, 2011 3:29 am

          True DAT!lol! I always like to leave my practical joke victims with something to think about…in other words I capitalize on their weaknesses and many of them will agree that they had it coming after all is said…and done. Heehee! Take care Gayle…If you get a chance, ask Renee Tennant from our face book what I pulled on her…It was a DOOSEY!LOL!

          • April 17, 2011 3:28 pm

            I’ll bet the “biggest” impression you leave on them would be your size–you’re no shrinking little violet!! Gulp! That alone could have some interesting effects on people.

            OK, I’ll have to remember to ask her about it. Thanks, Stuart. xoxo

            • April 18, 2011 12:49 am

              It’s true my size did play into this practical joke but I know of many to do similar things…I believe that the best way to pull a practical joke is to study the sucker….victim and choose how best to get under their skin. For example I might not make a big guy quite so nervous, but I sure can make him go over board by pushing his buttons. It’s all in the attitude taken and need that has arisen. Take care Gayle!

              • April 18, 2011 4:07 am

                Run Gayle and run fast and far… He’s studying you now too! lol

                • April 18, 2011 4:39 am

                  Gayle is sweet and kind! She’s even listen to the Dali Lama speak live why would I ever want to pull a practical joke on her? You?…you’re just fun to prank.LOL! Take care Renee!

                  For those of you that do not know her Renee Tennant is an excellent writer and I encourage you to get to know her she is on Facebook Twitter and WordPress Here’s her links: Twitter: @ReneeReflects and Facebook:!/teensupportcolumnist

  5. April 18, 2011 5:02 am

    Haha, thanks Stuart! I feel perfectly safe–I think! 🙂

  6. April 18, 2011 10:46 pm

    So infuriating, 2zpoint. Good customer service is really not rocket science.

    • April 19, 2011 12:27 am

      I know right?!! but the feel the need to lie to me just to satisfy their greed. Then they feel the need to lie to me to line their pockets thinking I wont do something unimaginable like PAY IT EARLY. Any way …blows my mind! good to see you BB!

      • April 19, 2011 1:02 am

        If more people made a stand like you did, they would be less inclined to try their weasely ways – he’s probably seeing you in his nightmares 🙂

        • April 19, 2011 11:50 am

          I sure hope so! He made my wife well up in tears…If she didn’t want that set of furniture SOooo bad I would have made him cry. I hate lying salesmen! Honesty is the best policy…even in sales. One might not make every quick sale but the repeat business will be 10x better. These liars are what gives a salesman a bad rap. You are right people should bow up when one lies…sure violence is not the answer all the time but I know that if I was a salesman and I stood a chance of getting my head knocked off for lying I probably wouldn’t do it. Peace be with you BB!

  7. jennygoth permalink
    September 10, 2011 3:07 pm

    once a salesman gets your money they turn into the devil as soon as the money hits the till good for you sorry but it made me giggle a bit too xxjen

    • September 10, 2011 5:08 pm

      Good to see yo! I love to shake up those that lie to me…especially salesmen that have no respect for others. I hope that it was enough to make him think the next time he wants to lie but I doubt it will. I’ll bet he sizes up the next guy that he sales to though. Peace be with you.

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